My brother Tyler followed the family mood. He joked that Grandpa’s special talent was making a room uncomfortable without saying anything. People laughed. Sometimes I laughed too, not because I agreed, but because I was young enough to confuse belonging with survival.

But I never thought Grandpa was difficult. I thought he was exact. That was the best word for him. He never promised anything he did not mean. He never flattered. He never pretended to listen. If he asked how school was, he actually wanted to know. If I said I hated a teacher, he did not scold me first. He asked why. If I wanted to do something risky, he did not immediately stop me. He taught me how to test whether it was worth trusting.

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