To his credit, Mark did not treat this as a single incident requiring a single apology. He was honest with me about what he was recognizing in himself: that he had minimized his mother’s behavior for years because confronting her required him to be an ungrateful son, which was a role he had been conditioned to dread. He found a therapist. A few weeks later, we started going together, not to repair damage from a single bad day but to address the pattern that had allowed the bad day to happen at all. Every time I had told him something was wrong and he had answered with let it go, we had both lost a little ground. We had a lot to rebuild.