“Oh no, Mom, I do not want anything homemade,” she said with a smile that felt cold. “We hired a professional pastry chef, it will look like something from a magazine.”

When speeches began, I waited with my notes full of memories and love, but she called nearly everyone else before reluctantly giving me a moment. I had barely started sharing a childhood story when she began clapping loudly, cutting me off while the room followed her lead, and my words disappeared into the noise.