The Morning I Walked Into Court Alone

Eight days after my daughter was born, I walked into a courthouse in Richmond, Virginia, carrying her against my chest and trying not to let anyone see how much every step hurt.

Her name was Lily, and she was so small that when she slept beneath the pale cream blanket my mother had knitted months earlier, she seemed almost weightless, as though I were carrying a warm bundle of breath rather than a whole new human being. I had spent the previous week learning the geography of her tiny face—the faint crease between her eyebrows when she was hungry, the way her fingers curled around mine, the little sigh she made before falling asleep—and under different circumstances, those days would have been among the happiest of my life.