“When I was so sad that our two oldest children left home, you did NOTHING. You never brought me a flower just to say you loved me, you never stood up for me when your mother was so mean to me.

“That time I twisted my ankle and I could barely walk, I had to get out of bed at 6:00 am and fix breakfast — and you lay there snoring and did NOTHING. Nothing seems to be what you do best!”

“You never told me!” Zack cried with an injured look on his face.

“I told you every time I asked for your help,” I said. “Every time I snuggled up for a kiss and you were more interested in what was on TV. I told you when I begged for your love and attention, for romance.

“I told you five years ago when I asked you to go to couples therapy with me and you refused because there was NOTHING wrong and you were happy.”

“We can go now,” Zack said hopefully. “Set up the appointment and I’ll come!”

“Of course, now that you see me determined to leave,” I commented. “But you don’t actually care enough to go look for a therapist and set up the appointment yourself.”

“Please, Kelly,” Zack begged. “Please give me a chance to make you happy!”

I stared at him and a deep sadness welled up in my heart. I shook my head. “At any time in the last thirty years, I would have given anything to hear you say those words.

“Now I look at you and all I feel is sadness — and pity. You’ve never bothered to make me happy before Zack, and honestly, I’m not wasting one more day of my life on you.”

I moved out the next day and found myself a pretty little apartment in Venice Beach and started a new life. I sold my car and started cycling everywhere even to work.

My children were shocked, especially my oldest daughter Amy who told me her father was devastated and seeing a therapist for depression. I was sorry for him, but my own happiness was finally my priority.

I took up dancing, made new friends, threw out the dowdy old wardrobe that I’d bought to please Zack, and changed my hair. My children were stunned and said I looked twenty years younger.

I guess I’m still a bit nervous about taking the big step again, but we’ve set a date for the summer. I couldn’t have fallen for a nicer man, and I am finally learning what real love is all about.

As for Zack, I hear he is now dating a much younger woman who orders him around like a slave, has him hopping to her every whim, and spends his hard-earned money like water. I guess we all get what we deserve!

What can we learn from this story?

• What we do is just as important as what we don’t do. Zack didn’t cheat, but he also didn’t offer Kelly the love and support she needed.
• One of the most important things in a relationship is to LISTEN to what the other person is really saying and to consider their needs and wishes as important as your own — something Zack didn’t do until it was too late.