“I don’t.”
“Then delete it.”
I looked at the two images again.
“But I needed to see it.”
“Why would you even want that picture?”
Daniel gave a short, frustrated laugh. “See what?”
I tapped the first photo.
“A few months ago, I would’ve seen my daughters laughing. Now I see my stomach, my face, my arms. Because that’s what you’ve taught me to notice first.”
“Mona…”
“Too big. Too puffy. Wrong dress. Cover yourself.”
“See what?”
“I never said all of that.”
“Don’t lie.”
He stopped.
“Don’t make me stand here and prove every sentence just so you can argue about the wording.”
For once, he had nothing ready to defend himself.
I turned toward Jane.
“I’m sorry he keeps using you to hurt me.”
“I never said all of that.”
Her eyes widened. “You don’t owe me an apology, Mona!”
“No, but you didn’t ask to be compared to me either.”
Jane looked at Daniel. “She’s right.”
Daniel threw up both hands.
“This is unbelievable.”
The photographer cleared his throat carefully. “Do you still want to do the family photo?”
“She’s right.”
“Yes,” Daniel said quickly. “Let’s just get it over with.”
Everyone started moving into place.
So did Daniel.
“Wait.” I looked at the twins.
“I want one with my girls first.”
Daniel sighed. “Fine. Then we’ll do ours after.”
“I want one with my girls first.”
“No.”
His expression hardened.
“What do you mean, no?”
“I mean just me and Paige and Piper.”
“Mona, you’re seriously cutting me out because I told you the truth?”
I stepped closer.
“What do you mean, no?”
“No. I’m taking one picture where I don’t have to wonder whether my own husband approves of how I look in it.”
Daniel stared at me.
For the first time all day, Daniel had no answer.
“Fine.”
Elliot stood.
“Daniel…”
“No. You all want me to be the bad guy? Fine.”
He stormed away as half the café turned to look.
“Daniel…”
Nobody followed him.
The photographer waited.
“Still want the picture?”
I looked at my daughters.
“Yes, please.”
***
That night, after the twins were settled, Daniel was waiting in our bedroom.
“So that’s it?” he asked. “You embarrass me in front of my whole family, then come home like nothing happened?”
“Still want the picture?”
I set the laundry basket down.
“Your father showed you a photograph. Everything else came out of your mouth.”
Daniel looked away. “This whole thing is over a swimsuit.”
“No. The swimsuit is just where I stopped pretending.”
I opened the closet and took out my pajamas.
His face changed. “Where are you going?”
“This whole thing is over a swimsuit.”
“Guest room.”
“Mona.”
“Tomorrow we’re talking about counseling, parenting, and how things have been in this house.”
“You’re threatening our marriage because I said you gained weight?”
I looked at him.
“No. I’m deciding whether I want our daughters growing up thinking this is how a husband speaks to his wife.”
He went quiet.
“Tomorrow we’re talking about counseling.”
***
The weeks after that weren’t easy. We started counseling, and Daniel took over more of the girls’ routines without waiting for me to ask.
One evening, I told him, “If you want this marriage, don’t tell me you’ve changed.”
He looked at me.
“Show me.”
“If you want this marriage, don’t tell me you’ve changed.”
***
A few weeks later, the anniversary photos arrived.
I found the one of me with the twins.
Piper had one fist tangled in my hair while Paige laughed at something outside the frame.
I looked happy.
I printed it.
I looked happy.
Then I framed it in the living room.
For almost a year, I’d deleted pictures of myself before anyone else could.
That one stayed.
And this time, I didn’t disappear.
