There is a specific kind of grief that comes with realizing your family does not love you. It doesn’t happen in a single, explosive moment. It is a slow, agonizing realization, built on decades of canceled plans, broken promises, and blatant favoritism.

In my family, the favoritism had a name: Leo.

My younger brother, Leo, was the golden child. He could do absolutely no wrong. If Leo wrecked his car, my parents bought him a new one. If Leo failed a college class, my parents blamed the professor.

Meanwhile, I was expected to be the quiet, obedient ATM. I worked incredibly hard to build a successful career as a software developer. I spent my days writing complex code, building highly specialized desktop applications using Python and custom graphic user interfaces for financial security firms. I made excellent money, and my parents knew it. Whenever Leo dug himself into a financial hole, my father would call me, demanding I bail him out in the name of “family.”