The scent of synthetic lilies and nervous sweat hung thick in the humid May air. I stood in the echoing vestibule of the Wellington University grand auditorium, adjusting the cheap polyester of my black graduation gown. Against my chest, strapped securely in a navy-blue fabric carrier, four-week-old Noah was fast asleep. His tiny, rhythmic breaths were the only thing keeping my own heart from hammering its way out of my ribs.