“That’s not an answer.”
“It’s the only one I have.”
She hung up.
Three days later, Mom had the attack.
I did something I am not proud of. That night, while Louis slept in the guest room, I went through his jacket where it hung over the chair. I found the notebook, and beneath it, a photograph.
It was old, cracked at the corners. A young woman in a hospital gown held a newborn, her face turned away from the camera.
Something about her shoulders looked familiar, but I couldn’t place it. I put everything back exactly as I’d found it.
Three days later, Mom had the attack.
At the hospital, the doctor was firm.
The ambulance came at four in the morning. Louis carried her through the hallway and out to the waiting paramedics himself, this enormous tattooed man cradling my mother like she was made of paper, his face wet with tears I couldn’t reconcile with anything I’d told myself about him.
At the hospital, the doctor was firm.
“This is the illness, Margaret. It’s progressing. This wasn’t caused by anything someone did or didn’t do.”