I sat with that question longer than I wanted to.
I didn’t have to wonder for long.
“Can you imagine how that would feel for them?”
I understood, even then, that they weren’t trying to be cruel. They were embarrassed.
And embarrassment has a way of making people say things they’d probably soften if they had more time to think first.
Neither of them came to graduation.
I wish that had been the worst of it.
They were embarrassed.
***
I walked into the auditorium alone that morning, cap and gown a little stiff against my shoulders. I was trying to hold on to the kind of pride that doesn’t need an audience to be real.
Even so, some quiet part of me kept checking the doors.
“Are your kids in the front row?” a classmate asked, young enough to be my granddaughter, smiling and clearly expecting a happy answer. “I saved seats.”
“They couldn’t make it,” I said, and left it there.
The truth sounded worse aloud.
“Are your kids in the front row?”
Because explaining the whole thing felt like more than either of us had time for.
“That’s such a shame. You must be so proud of yourself, though.”
“I’m trying to be,” I said, which was as honest as I could manage standing in a hallway full of families taking photographs of people who weren’t me.