I hung up the phone and sat in the dark, my whole body shaking.
Ethan turned on the lamp. “Clara? What is it? What’s wrong?”
I told him. I watched his face go pale, then gray, then something I couldn’t read at all.
“You don’t have to go,” he said quietly. “After everything she did, no one on God’s earth would blame you for staying right here.”
He was right. No one would have blamed me.
I thought about every reason to stay in that warm bed. I thought about the boarding school. I thought about the wedding ring she’d hidden, the months she’d let me grieve myself in silence.
And then I thought about a thin, gray woman in a hospital bed two years ago. A Jane Doe. A nobody. A person the whole world had decided didn’t exist.
I thought about how it felt to lie there and wonder if anyone, anywhere, would ever come looking for me.
I got out of bed and started pulling on my clothes.
“Clara,” Ethan said.
“I have to go,” I told him. “I don’t fully understand it myself. But I can’t be the kind of woman who leaves another woman to face that alone. Not when I know exactly what that loneliness tastes like.”