“You couldn’t, or you wouldn’t?” My dad looked at me. I had never seen him look so old. “I wouldn’t.”
The confession fell without a scream, but it hit like a blow. I loved him. I still loved him. That was the problem. Because sometimes the people who save you also hide your wounds just so they don’t have to look at them.
“You let me believe I was the one who drove her away.” “I thought if you hated her, it would hurt less.” “I hated myself, Dad.”
That’s when he broke. He grabbed the table as if the floor had tilted. Mary covered her mouth. Sophie started crying silently.
“Forgive me,” my dad said. But that night, his forgiveness had nowhere to sit.
The Salon in Pilsen
The next morning, I took a bus to Chicago. Sophie insisted on coming. Mary couldn’t; she said if she went, she’d scream until her throat gave out. My dad wanted to come, but I told him no. For the first time in my life, he didn’t get to decide how my truth was going to hurt.
We left early, the sky still a dull gray. On the way, the suburbs gave way to the industrial outskirts of the city. When the Chicago skyline appeared in the distance, Sophie pressed her forehead against the glass.