My father, Frank, a retired master chief, kept his eyes forward. His back was the kind of rigid that only decades of discipline and a deep, quiet shame could create. He knew what I was, but he never said it. He preferred the easy pride of a pilot son over the complicated daughter who worked in the dark. When I was twelve and won the state science fair, he told the neighbors it was a participation ribbon, because real accomplishment happened in cockpits, not computer labs.

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